If I was to ask you what you think Domestic Violence (DV) is, you may say things like punching or kicking, violence in the home. While all that is correct, there is a lot more to DV than physical abuse, as the above definition says, and surprisingly the age group 16-25 years is the MOST
affected age group of DV than any other... it can happen in a TEEN relationship too.
An abusive relationship is about one person having power and control over the other and many
tactics are used
to gain that power and control, this often can be subtle.
Below are many tactics that are used in abusive relationships...
Emotional abuse is about making the victim feel confused and bad about them selves:
'you're ugly' 'you're fat and stupid' 'no one else would go out with you'
Intimidation is making the victim feel afraid, this can be giving the victim a glance across the room, making a loud noise near them, shouting.. The victim may feel like they just don't know what's coming next.
Minimising and blame is about making the victim feel like it's their fault or that it's not abuse; 'you made me do that, you shouldn't have worn that skirt!' 'you made me angry' 'it was nothing, everyone does that in a relationship' 'what are you talking about, that never happened' 'it's only cos I love you and was jealous'
Threats is about making the victim do something they don't want to do.
'if you don't do it then I'll tell everyone at school you're a slut' 'don't leave me, I'll hurt myself' 'do it or I will dump you'
Sexual coercion
is making the victim do something sexually that they don't want to. This can include rape but also manipulation. Not accepting no for an answer.
'Come on everyone is doing it' 'please, you know how upset get if you don't' 'I'll tell everyone you're frigid'
Isolation is about stopping the victim from having friends or family support. The partner would control who they talk to and who they see.
'why you talking to them, you know I don't like them!' 'you're friends don't care about you, I love you' 'you're hanging out with me tonight not them.'
Check out this advert below, many of the tactics are seen here...
Often as a victim you will be left feeling like it's all your fault, you may have low self-esteem and self-worth and you may even feel trapped within the relationship. There are options and help available, talk to someone you trust or contact us for advice.
